There are movie openings and then there’s Billy Blanks shooting his way to the end zone. This weeks movie is one of the most underrated action movies of the era and has one of the worst jigs ever danced. We learn three things from this movie:
- Friday night is in fact a great night for football.
- This is what John McClane was up to between taking down that plane in D.C. and stopping the theft at Fort Knox.
- Pat Boone is the quintessential old man.
We have a lot of fun with this movie while also gushing over amazing Tony Scott/Joel Silver action movies. The only question we’re left with is, “Did free agency actually kill the game?”
The Last Boy Scout
Premiered: Dec. 13, 1991
Written: Shane Black
- You might know some of his movies.
- As a writer: Lethal Weapon, The Monster Squad, Last Action Hero, The Long Kiss Goodnight
- Writer/Director: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Iron Man 3, The Nice Guys
- Actor: Predator, Dead Heat, RoboCop 3
Directed: Tony Scott
- Legitimately one of the all time Hollywood greats. Selected filmography:
- Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop 2, Days of Thunder, True Romance, The Fan, Spy Game, Man on Fire, The Taking of Pelham 123
- Unfortunately died in 2012. There are two people as a movie fan I miss constantly, Tony Scott and Chris Penn. Movies were better when they were still with us.
Produced: Joel Silver
- Normally don’t mention producers, but Silver is special. He’s known as a personality in Hollywood, lots of info out there about him and his style.
- We could do a movie podcast just about Silver productions. Here’s a taste:
- The Warriors, 48 hrs., Weird Science, Commando, Lethal Weapon, Predator, Action Jackson, Die Hard, Ricochet, The Matrix, V for Vendetta, The Book of Eli, RocknRolla.
Bruce Willis as Joseph “Joe” Cornelius Hallenbeck
Damon Wayans as James “Jimmy” Alexander Dix
Chelsea Field as Sarah Hallenbeck
Noble Willingham as Sheldon Marcone
Taylor Negron as Milo
Danielle Harris as Darian Hallenbeck
Halle Berry as Cory
Bruce McGill as Mike Matthews
Kim Coates as Chet
Chelcie Ross as Senator Calvin Baynard
Joe Santos as Benjamin Bessalo
Clarence Felder as McCaskey
Tony Longo as Big Ray Walston
Frank Collison as Pablo
Eddie Griffin as Club DJ
Billy Blanks as Billy Cole
The Last Boy Scout – Composed by Michael Kamen
Written by Gary Bruce
Performed by Pat Boone
Written by Lindsey Buckingham
- Sweet opening section that couldn’t be more 90’s. This is actually better than Hank Williams Jr. Go America! (all this while credits roll)
- Rain, GREEN 88! There’s a lot of people real slow off the line on that play. Go into halftime with Cleveland beating LA, just like real life. I hate Cleveland too.
- Milo calls for Billy Cole says there’s a lot of money riding on the game, need to do whatever it takes
- Lynn Swan interviews the owner, asks him why attendance and TV ratings are down, is football dying? Owner says no, lots of hero’s on the field, in particular Billy Cole. Billy took some pills in the locker room, very nervous on the field. Billy is their top player.
- Billy catches the pass, breaks some great tackles then shoots his way through the rest of the defense, commits suicide at the end saying “ain’t life a bitch”
- Dom: Jesus Christ!
- John: I know, the tackling is terrible.
- Dom: I expect the defense to be able to take a bullet or two
- After sleeping in his car and getting a squirrel thrown on him by some kids he goes to the office.
- Gets a call from another private dick to do a charity case for a stripper who’s a 3 on his finger scale, cut off three to fuck her.
- Takes the job, sits in his car saying I’m a loser, nobody likes me, I guess I’ll go eat worms.
- Meet Damon Wayans who saves a woman from drowning by throwing a football at a prick. Learn he’s not in the league anymore, but a pill popper.
- Buck Buck comes home, cleans his gun, complains about his whore daughter who stays out too late and wears too much makeup.
- Small couple argument but Buck Buck notices the toilet seat up, looks for his wife cheating. Calls out who’s the guy in the closet, reveals its his friend who referred him the 3 finger stripper.
- Great quote, tripped and stuck you dick in my wife.
- Shoots his wedding picture, walks his friend outside and punches him in the gut. Still takes the job for $500.
- Friend gets in his car, it explodes.
- Dom: I think this is what happened to John McClane between Die Hard 2 and 3.
- Find out Damon is dating Cory. Damon cheated on her, says his life is to nail anything that has a heartbeat.
- Meanwhile Joe is meeting with Cory, he offends her asking why doesn’t she put clothes on, but she has to run for her time to dance.
- Damon goes to talk to Joe while Cory is dancing. Damon wants to know what kind of trouble Cory is in, they assault each other verbally a few times. Jimmy gets thoroughly embarrassed by Joe after telling him he’s the 90’s version of Ryan Leaf, blocks his punch. Jimmy storms out with Cory.
- Outside we get a flashback while Joe waits by his car of when he was secret service for the Senator. Remembering a time when he heard the Senator raping a lady.
- He gets knocked out by some thugs, carry him away.
- Melissa: If only strippers looked like Halle Berry and not Tara Reid.
- Cory tells Jimmy the detective is because some creep is threatening her, he says he’ll take care of her.
- Meanwhile Joe is telling wife so fate jokes then stabbing his way out of trouble.
- Cory leaves with Jimmy following. The thugs setup a minor car accident which when she gets out to argue with them they kill her. Massive shootout, Joe kills almost all while Jimmy runs one over. Police show up and no one asks any questions.
- John: He’s out $500
- Police think Joe is hiding something. Joe sounds like hie wants his $500 and Jimmy’ pants are worth $650. Joe says his dead buddy Mike knew this was dangerous that’s why he passed on it and why he’s dead.
- More flashback of Joe going in and finding Baynard SM whipping a hooker, punching him out.
- Jimmy shows him how to break into the house, its trashed. Says don’t touch anything but they both touch a lot of stuff. See a picture of Cory with the owner of the LA Stallions, they used to date.
- Jimmy goes into the bathroom, finds his drugs and what the thugs where looking for and blackmail info for Baynard/Marcone. Includes a tape of a conversation. Also Jimmy is really dumb. Jimmy also says she was trying to get his job back by blackmailing Marcone.
- Keeps saying for pics/audio “That’s Marcone.”
- Tape deck eats the tape. John: Tape deck problems, how 90’s
- Joe saves Jimmy from a car bomb.
- Two more thugs come up, Joe sets them up to shoot the truck where the car bomb was. Jimmy/Joe survive, cops show up.
- Chief isn’t too happy, says he doesn’t want to see Joe again or he’ll shoot him. The no. 2 at the precinct says he wants to shake his hand for what he did for the president.
- Outside Jimmy is waiting for Joe, says he wants a job. They’ll be buddy cops!
- On the drive home, Joe says his daughter likes Prince and Jimmy does a terrible impression.
- Jimmy/Joe come in, Darian lays some truth bombs on Jimmy, tells Joe she hates him. Does it all while watching Tango and Cash. She’s my hero. They argue, a lot. Darian is a badass.
- Clip/Quote of Darian blowing shit up
- In this scene Jimmy says he took a picture with a Don Johnson cardboard cutout
- After Dorian storms out, hear Jimmy’s story about a truck running over his wife, killing her and his unborn son.
- After some deep shit, Jimmy goes into the bathroom to try to do some coke. Joe stumble son him, punches Jimmy and tells him to get lost after flushing a thousand dollars worth of coke. Jimmy goes into a tirade about how much it hurts to play football, then his wife dying, and how the NFL only has an injury report for gamblers and that cost him his career.
- As Jimmy leaves Darian asks for his autograph, says Joe loved Jimmy as a player. When Jimmy left the game Joe stopped watching.
- Thugs try to kill Jimmy by throwing him off an overpass after asking the thugs which one looks more like his dick. I’m pretty sure its the guy on the right.
- He survives
- Cops think Joe killed Mike because Mike was accidentally slipping into Sarah.
- Some thugs show up and taser Joe its also right when the no. 2 from the precinct show up. Thugs kill cop and frame Joe, driving away
- Joe has flashback of the time he saved the president from an assassination.
- One of the goons harasses and punches Joe, who one punch death punches him.
- Marcone comes in, some shenanigans. Marcone goes into a tirade about how free agency and greedy players are ruining the league from his room with a pool.
- Marcone says they’re gonna frame Joe to kill Baynard to allow legalize football gambling who’s blocking it.
- Both Sarah and Jimmy testifying that Joe didn’t kill a cop. Darian brought her puppet, its really weird. Jimmy calls a friend to find out where he can find Baynard.
- Jimmy is watching from the street, Darian sneaks up on him. She brought a gun. She’s a badass.
- There’s a meeting between Baynard and Marcone’s people out in the woods. Darian says use the gun, Jimmy says he hates guns.
- Baynard wants $6M to pass legalize gambling, Marcone thinks its cheaper to kill him. Set up the exchange and take pictures of Joe delivering.
- Jimmy gets caught watching, but Darian comes up with her puppet with the gun inside. JOe puts on a little show then the shooting starts. They miraculously escape. Seriously, Darian is a badass.
- Car chase, Joe gets one to drive off a cliff, then they both go over a steep hill. Thugs end up in a pool. Joe fakes shooting his daughter to get his car. Jimmy/Joe leave, Darian stays. Man calls the cops but one thug survives the crash, kills the guy takes Darian hostage.
- Jimmy/Joe give chase on Baynard bodyguard limo to get them to not deliver the bomb to Baynard. Joe shoots out the tire on the limo, more shootout and has to kill a bodyguard. Milo calls and gets Joe, proves he’s got Darian.
- They have to deliver the bomb to save Darian and the Senator.
- Jimmy and Joe just waltz in, even pulling a gun on the guy that was trying to drown the lady in the beginning.
- They go into Marcone office, surrounded by guards. Marcone says Milo is gonna sniper the senator, that Cory was a sweetest hooker he ever tasted then shoots JImmy in the hand saying players don’t have discipline nowadays. Can’t handle the pain.
- Joe says only he knows where the $6M is and the tape will be mailed to the mob to find out how the gambling thing is going.
- Try to set up Marcone, but doesn’t work out. Jimmy throws a grenade in the fire place, shootout and they escape.
- Marcone see’s Joe’s car, takes the briefcase they have.
- Jimmy/Joe run up to the stands, great clip of a man standing perfectly still.
- Jimmy goes to try to get Baynard’s attention, Joe is gonna go up to the lights to stop Milo.
- Jimmy gets onto the field, steals a horse and hits the Senator with a football to save his life. Remember he’s got a great arm.
- Joe gets to Milo, who kills a few cops before running out of bullets. Milo/Joe wrestle while a police helicopter fly’s around. Cops shoot/kill Milo who then gets ripped to shreds in the helicopter. Joe does a little dance.
- Outside the Senator accuses Joe of staging the whole thing, Joe punches him out. Sarah shows up, the family has one last moment before Joe has to go to jail for a long, long time.
- Sarah apologizes to him, Joe says fuck you.
- They realize Marcone got the wrong briefcase, cash is still there but Marcone blows up across town. Its hilarious.
- Family BBQ, Joe asks Jimmy to be his partner. Be prepared…
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The shows official accounts:
Intro & transition music provided by:
Cuban Sandwich, Voice Over Under
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0