After talking all about Rocky last week, we still had a Sylvester Stallone appetite that needed to be satisfied. The only way to make it better? Add in some Wesley Snipes. That’s how you get Demolition Man!
In our first scifi movie (Well, unless you count Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Technically that’s a scifi movie too.) we give this 90’s classic the GWTH treatment. This movie really has it all. Bungee jumping out of a helicopter? Check. Futuristic weapons? Check. Virtual SEX?! Oh, you better believe its got that too! Between the three of us we’ve probably seen this movie 50 times and it never gets old… Unless you pay real close attention to the story.
We have so much fun with this movie. We gush over Sly and Snipes battling it out. Dominic wonders if Friendly really did have prison reform on his agenda. Melissa wants to know what the “hunka chunka” is and how one could acquire it. John makes us thing about hot dog scented soap. How can you go wrong!
Podcast, but in YouTube form
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The shows official accounts:
Intro & transition music provided by:
Cuban Sandwich, Voice Over Under
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
- Directed this, Excess Baggage & Dinotopia.
- Most known for being a “video collage and installation artist”
- How TF he got chosen to direct this movie is a mystery.
Written: Robert Reneau, Peter Lenkov, & Daniel Waters
- Waters was the lead scriptwriter, other two wrote the original story and helped with the screenplay.
- Wrote or co-wrote screenplays for Heathers, Hudson Hawk, Batman Returns.
Basically the entire staff on this movie did a bunch of crap. Joel Silver made this thing happen.
Fun fact: Taco Bell was the US version, Pizza Hut was for Europe. They redubbed the lines to Pizza Hut for the EU version. Why does our copy have Pizza Hut?
Through out the whole movie the future is just slightly different. Not enough you don’t know how to do stuff, but its all weird. Music, driving, food, etc. It’s like they wrote it to be a lame dad joke.
- LA, 1996. I think some of this stuff didn’t come true. I mean, I’ve been to LA, not ALL of it is like this.
- Simon Phoenix hijacked a bus with 30 people on board and its up to Rockambo to save the day.
- I love the 90’s, no subtle context. Everyone just says what the watchers are supposed to get. Everyone does the thing, nothing is implied. They even say “tired of this demolition man shit”
- Simon sets a trap, a very poor trap. Sly could have easily shot through that fire. Wrestle and Phoenix doesn’t give up where the hostages are. The whole building is filled with C4. Sly rescues Phoenix.
- Problem is Phoenix actually had the hostages there and Sly let it happen. Phoenix frames him for the murder of the hostages.
- Spartan has been sentenced to 70 years in cryo stasis for the murder of the hostages.
- I don’t see how this is punishment. If he’s frozen does it really feel like time has passed? It will just be a long nap.
He’s gonna have so much shrinkage. Also some uncomfortable shots of Spartan’s taint.
Its now 2032, William Smithers still works there.
- Leninia calls in, she’s checking on the prisoners but everything is boring. Even tablets making video calls from a self-driving car is boring.
- Streets are safe but Friendly is underground with the people blocked out of the society watching the cops for when they’ll come above ground to steal food.
- Leninia is disappointed that nothing good ever happens, gets chastised by her commanding officer Dr. Evil.
- What she wouldn’t do for some action! As she tells her partner.
- Smithers is seeing the parole of Phoenix. Somehow teddy bear is the only security in the whole prison.
- Phoenix doesn’t know how he knew the password or how to fight so good. He escapes.
- Cops are confused by a 187, a murder death kill. The last time they had one was in 2010. Phoenix killed lots of people in his escape. The police don’t know what to do.
- The 90’s graphics are great. Its like its slightly in the future from what was possible when this movie came out.
- Old man says he knows its Phoenix, meanwhile Phoenix is still killing folk.
- No ATM is safe in the city.
- Lenina is able to run down where Phoenix is by tracking one of his victims cars he stole. Police are very smug and confident they got him.
- Phoenix goes to a computer, that really just gives out compliments. And gosh darn it people like me.
- Phoenix is able to hack the computer and do all kinds of stuff. Someone has put the info into his brain. He’s been brainwashed to kill Friendly.
- Melissa: Is that a suicide booth?
- After a few potty mouth tickets, the police come. Police don’t know how to handle Phoenix. Following the script Comcast gave them.
- John:Disney security.
- Phoenix makes quick work of the police and escapes.
- The whole time at the police station they’re floored at what they’re seeing.
- Meeting with several Edward Snowdens. This must be a remote work office. Everyone just Skype’d in.
- Cocteau gets the update from his scribe. Calls the chief to tell him all will be okay, just do whatever it is you do.
- Old man, Zach Lamb, says Spartan was the one who brought him down. Only the demolition man can bring him down.
- Chief doesn’t like it but everyone thinks its their only option.
- Spartan is released. The temptation was to use the ice for a margarita, but that got them in a lot of trouble last time.
- They laser him out. It’s so futuristic.
- His wife died in the earthquake in 2010. Interrupt the news on his daughter.
- They update him on Phoenix. Also he can’t swear, smoke, drink or even have caffeine.
- Melissa: What kind of Mormon world is this
- John: The Boy Scouts won.
- The seashell scene. The smugness about the seashells. Someone punch Rob Schnieder.
- Spartan see’s Zach, they chat. Spartan curses his way to more toilet paper. He has to do that at least once a day, sometimes twice depending on how much cheese he’s had.
- Chief doesn’t like him, Spartan says hes gong for a gun. The only place for a gun is at a museum. Luckily they keep them loaded for displays too.
- Damn Phoenix is racist. He just did a very bad Asian racist joke.
- No one seems to understand Phoenix’s boggle. He shoots through a few glass panes and steals lots of already loaded guns including an energy gun.
- Lenina is taking to the role, watched too many action movies.
- Spartan goes in, big shootout while they talk shit to each other.
- Phoenix escapes, right to the place where the Mayor is waiting. Phoenix is unable to shoot him because the Mayor has programmed him to not be able to. His only job is to kill Friendly.
- Again with the bad dad jokes from Lenina. This runs throughout the whole movie. He really licked his ass.
- Mayor is surprised to see Spartan, the police did something he didn’t expect.
- Mayor invites Spartan out to Pizza Hut.
- Learn that Cocteau created the new civilization. No one is going to do a mugging or robbery, so he must be up to something big.
- Chief says lets just wait for another crime then we’ll know where Phoenix is.
- More dad jokes, Arnie presidential library.
- Learns more about the future.
- Swanky meal, that was somehow ready before he even got there.
- Cocteau explains that the city was overrun with crime, so he had a plan to fix it and siezed it.
- Spartan says he was awake the whole time in the cell. The other people don’t care.
- Spartan spies the poor people coming to take food, but he thinks its like gangs. Goes out to stop them.
- Spartan puts on a show, but realizes the scraps where just stealing food.
- Cocteau says they’re drain on their society, a constant problem.
- Spartan says there’s nothing wrong with people looking for food and tells Lenina stop acting like its the wild west.
- Spartan apologizes, thinks about calling his daughter.
- Lenina tries to do it but he stops her.
- She also gives him some info from the archives.
- Phoenix is waiting for him. Cocteau says he gave him all the info to get Friendly, that’s why he’s got all these new skills.
- Phoenix says he needs some tools and some of his old people. Cocteau is kind of afraid of Phoenix, but still acts tough.
- Also discuss Spartan. Cocteau says he’ll guarantee to put Spartan back in the freezer.
- She lives in a sports bar. She asks him if he wants to bang, but its not the same as he remembers. Has to wear some dumb helmet and also no touching because sex and violence are forever linked.
- They have psychic sex.
- John:That sensation was a psychic finger in the butt
- Spartan doesn’t like it, he wants the hunka chunka.
- Lenina is grossed out by real sex, learn more about the future. All babies are lab grown, no real touching. Butt play is at an all-time low.
- She kicks him out, he goes back to his place. Watches the disc of the exchange between Cocteau and Phoenix.
- The knitting thing is the best dad joke in the whole movie.
Spartan puts together that Cocteau knows something.
The next day Spartan apologizes to Lenina and gives her a hand-knitted sweater.
- Part of his rehab was to learn to knit. Phoenix got hundreds of new fighting skills. Why does he need all this just to kill Friendly.
- John: Why are these options even on the menu.
- Spartan confronts Cocteau on video chat. He finds where his is and talks to him face to face.
- Cocteau tells him to go get frozen again, Spartan says no thanks.
- Spartan along with Lenina and Garcia are going into the sewers.
- Spartan has a rat burger and a beer, finds a nice car. Eventually talks to Friendly. Friendly says that they hide out because they want freedom. They don’t want to conform to Cocteau’s vision. Spartan says he thinks Cocteau is trying to kill Friendly. Friendly is caught off guard cause he didn’t think it could get seriously violent.
- Meanwhile Phoenix is telling his gang to go crazy, take over the city and bring back the old days.
- Spartan tells everyone he thinks Cocteau defrosted Phoenix on purpose to kill Friendly. Lenina and Garcia plus Friendly all believe him.
- Phoenix stumbles on Friendly and Spartan, shootout.
- John: That sucks, he’s destroying their whole food court.
- Dom: Another Sbarro closes forever.
- Phoenix escapes after some of his people get killed.
- Phoenix steals a cop car, Spartan brings the GTO to the surface.
- Chase, Lenina is very excited.
- Normal chase. Spartan jumps on the car, Phoenix and Spartan wrestle. Phoenix says the hostages were already dead in that warehouse explosion. He framed Spartan.
- Phoenix gets thrown out, Spartan crashes.
- John: Tesla must still be working out the bugs.
- Chief is not happy he turned his car into a snowcone.
- Spartan is going to chase down Phoenix, the Scraps with Friendly come to help. Garcia has joined the the Scraps.
- Phoenix has one of his cronies to kill Cocteau, something he didn’t plan on.
- Spartan/Lenina come in, a quick wrestling match with some of Phoenix’s men. Lenina proves she can hang.
- They find Cocteau’s BBQ, also see that Phoenix is about to defrost 80 people.
- Spartan shocks Lenina then runs off to stop Phoenix.
- Phoenix kills all the prison staff now that everyone is in the process of reanimiation.
- 10 minutes until the defrost cycle is complete.
- Shootout. Phoenix captures Spartan with the claw machine, Phoenix tries to shoot him in the machine, misses terribly.
- Spartan escapes after freezing the metal…Phoenix shoots at him with the ass laser.
- Fist fight around the liquid nitrogen.
- At the last moment while the sprinklers are running Spartan releases the freezer ball thingy and freezes PHoenix to the ground. Then decapitates him.
- Everything explodes after freezing. Spartan escapes
- At the street the Chief is surprised to hear Phoenix is dead and the cryo prison is destroyed. They agree to have the Scraps and Police work together.
- Spartan/Lenina kiss, he still wants to know how the seashells work.